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  • Writer's pictureJohn Trager

WHAT & WHY ARE BOUNDARIES IMPORTANT?


Boundaries are limits or rules that you set for yourself and others. Boundaries help maintain healthy relationships and can be physical, emotional, mental or even digital. Different boundaries may be needed for different situations, depending on the specifics and your personal preferences.


Examples of boundaries include wanting privacy when using the restroom, not wanting someone to invade your physical space, not responding to calls or emails outside of working hours or limiting communication to certain topics.


It is important to communicate your boundaries so that people understand what you are comfortable with and what you are not. By communicating your boundaries clearly, it helps avoid any misunderstandings and ensures your comfort and safety in any situation. Additionally, it allows you to set boundaries that help protect your mental and emotional well-being. Setting clear boundaries helps maintain positive relationships and establish mutual respect.


If you’re looking to communicate your boundaries to others, there are several strategies to help you clearly define where you stand and what you need.


First, focus on being explicitly clear. Whenever possible, communicate your boundaries using direct language and avoid using ambiguous or passive language. For example, “I need to respect my own limits and not agree to requests that would cross the boundary I have set for myself.”


Second, be honest about your boundaries and be comfortable saying “no” when it’s necessary. If a situation arises where you’re feeling overwhelmed or taken advantage of, don’t hesitate to say no. We all have rights and responsibilities and it’s important to recognise when something is too much for you to commit to and draw your own line in the sand. For example, if your neighbour is asking you to watch their pet when you're already exhausted after working your full-time job, it’s okay to say no and set the boundary that you need to prioritize your own wellbeing and conserve your energy.


Third, be assertive in communicating your boundaries. Use “I” statements to clearly express your needs. For instance, rather than saying “you shouldn’t do x”, say “I need x in order to feel valued and respected.”


Fourth, stay firm when communicating your boundaries. Avoid giving in to or making excuses for other people. For example, if you don’t feel comfortable attending an event that was uninvited to or a situation that makes you uncomfortable, stand firm in your decision and don’t get drawn into it.


Finally, understand that boundaries are not meant to be a source of tension, but rather a method of communication. When boundaries are communicated and respected, it can lead to mutual respect, trust, and understanding between people. Additionally, by setting and communicating boundaries, it can help people better manage their expectations and feelings. Setting boundaries helps build stronger relationships and will benefit all involved in the long run.


By following these strategies, you’ll be able to communicate your boundaries clearly and confidently in any situation. Self-care and self-respect start with respect of your own boundaries. Take time for yourself and be proud of the boundaries you’ve decided to set.


--- SUMMARY ---

Be Clear: Communicate your boundaries using direct language and avoid using ambiguous or passive language.


Be Assertive: Use “I” statements to clearly express your needs and remain firm when setting boundaries.


Respect Yourself: Understand that boundaries are not meant to be a source of tension, but a method of communication. Take time for yourself to prioritize your own wellbeing and respect your own boundaries.

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